I am actually a very good follower! I remark that since so many people see me as a spontaneous leader. Hardly. In fact, I personally don’t take too easily to the responsibility of leadership despite knowing I can do it. I wish often that I only had myself to lead. [:)] Sigh…
Anyway, a significant feature of my life has been the decision to be very selective about who I will follow. It is a practical decision on most fronts in truth, guided by the evidence of results or outcomes by said leader. And so if I have a poor boss, I will eventually out of sheer frustration ultimately, choose to move on from following him or her because I really can’t stand seeing the perennial repeat of the same mistakes and unneeded [often painful] outcomes that come via a boss who is partial to learning!
This explains why I have left several jobs, a marriage, family life, church life, academics, business life… I could keep going [smile]
But my drive to serve, make a contribution and live meaningfully has not died down over this time… which spans the bulk of my life although only taking refined shape in the last ten years or so. I came down to the point of realizing that most ‘leaders’ in the main stream were so occupied following the protocols of their field or industry that they were not concentrating on effects or results or impacts on constituents. How frustrating!! [Particularly since the majority of my activities both in work and personal life involved the clean-up sided of things and I got simply worn out spiritually, emotionally and physically especially!]
Survival therefore got me out of the craziness involuntarily, praying the entire time that I would somehow, someday find leadership that fits with me because despite everything, I don’t believe I, or anyone else, have automatic control or unlimited exclusive knowledge of how to lead other people. I have lots of theories on this but that will probably be better elaborated in a… well… leadership forum [;)]
I feel rather gratified in recent times for finding, unintentionally what I was searching for in leadership, which is the evidence of God Him/HerSelf. I truly don’t care if we consider God to be male, female, omni-sexual [just made that up!] or whatever… just to identify directly with the force that keeps things moving along as it were, in the background of Life.
While I’m at the point of deciding where to go with my Life, I recall the importance of Personal Leadership which means, mimicking the leadership I respect in my own life for the type of results and effects that I want. [Great guidance from one of the leadership gurus that slips me presently; probably Steven Covey or Jim Rohn… I kinda took these guys seriously when I studied them!! :)]
So in case anyone wants a leader to follow and wants some criteria to help them along in their decision, please consider:
- Results/Performance: Growth that’s healthy, natural, beautiful, ordered [just look around!!]
- [S]he is naturally received and absorbable🙂
- Goes about business both non-disruptively, non-intrusively
- Works with substance as opposed to elusive, ethereal, non-graspable, hot-air out of the nothing stuff
- Is easy and Light
- Not feigning control; actually IS
- Connects to All – non-exclusive, non-judgmentally
- Outreaches with warmth and life-giving energy[check out the sun!!]
- Helps and cares in a way that you can feel it and are not second guessing much of the time
- Does not painfully force way
It is that time again for me to take personal leadership in my direction and the alternatives of ‘who’ to follow are somewhat dim in society. To put it very simply, there is a dire lack of competent control-capability for most of the auto-esteemed leaders in my sphere, most of whom are trying this ‘command’ thing and have little performance evidence supporting them.
That’s where I’m at today, choosing my leader, based on performance. That is sufficient for me.
If you will follow, and probably most importantly, if you will lead, choose carefully too.
Namaste, with Love,
I was blessed to spend some time at my favourite beach from childhood… It was a quiet morning with few visitors at that time. Perhaps this allowed me to concentrate some more on my sensations…
Two powerful ones stood out: the feel of smooth, soft sand squeezed between my toes as I entered the water and after, the special smell of salt that seems to ‘fit’ JUST that beach…
Somehow the ability to zero in on these lovely feelings felt like the Greatest accomplishment of them all… How often the brain is so compacted that sensations are pushed away!
But I inhaled that deep breath and settled in to that gentle sand with enjoyment and Great pleasure.
And had a very Beautiful start to my day.
Blessing You, with Love,
I have been recently, pleasantly exploring what could be called my deep self. This exploration was prompted by one of my favourite astrologers: Rob Breszny (www.freewillastrology.com)
I like the findings that have emerged from this ‘extreme-prompted’ exploration which basically describes the qualities of my deep self. She:
- Is Loving
- Is thoughtful & intelligent
- Is accepting
- Is Desirous of good inputs to her Life
- Will team up willingly and consciously with the God-force (which includes other people, dedicated like myself!)
- Has patience and humour
- Has pride and Dignity
- Will get up and go
- Will let ‘people’ go
- Is Quiet
I like the Deep person in Me. I hope to spend all my Time with Her.
My travels have taken me many places and up till now, I didn’t consider the U.S. to be an ‘exotic’ place like so many others, just because I share so many features culturally, in my country. I didn’t want to admit it for some time, but I have more in common with America than I do anywhere else. [smile]
Nonetheless, all my work over the past eight years [since I quit the System] has led me repeatedly to this Big Country which the World used as its benchmark for just about everything ~ good, bad or indifferent. It is evident now, how cultural leadership can blanket social, economic, political and academic life…
Nonetheless, perhaps because of this ‘leadership’, I was continually drawn to forums that were dominated by ‘The American Way’ for discussions, debates and elaborations. It was challenging in a positively stimulating way although often, it did depress me to see the vigour put into rationalising lots that wasn’t at all healthy.
Let me make the point that this wasn’t only Americans or even North Americans I got this from. It was everywhere! But thought leadership did indeed seem to come from this direction…
One interesting forum that I walked [virtually] into was an online community which swivelled between being spiritual, environmental and sadly, commercial. It got pretty complicated oftentimes, as the value systems clashed, but I can definitely say that some shining lights came through every time and were thankfully undimmed by the confusion.
It was also interesting how I ‘migrated’ into another, more open community online and in time also was led to several ‘shining lights’, in the midst of the multitude of advertising, spamming and diversions! And yes, many are from America!!
I have been learning so much about people and about humanity in general, starting with my own humanity… And as as today I remain so very hopeful of where we’re going! We can speak across divides; we can bond despite our distances; we can share a space and support our hearts, minds and bodies. How exciting!!
The cycle of bold exploring into what I don’t like in the World, has concluded with SO MUCH that I like; it’s ironic. I feel very certain that this was the ‘Plan’ anyway, since it was heart-led and built on the vision of a wonderful ‘people’, somewhere out there in the world.
And there are so MANY!
Shining lights abounded from my recent US visit… Here are some:
Our world is changing and with it, any ideas about U.S. or US, and I’d have to say: I like that!
Namaste, Peaceful Friends,
This blog responds to my friend and colleague on the Journey, Agnes Vermorel who recently wrote a blog entitled ‘A Man’s World?’ for the occasion of International Women’s Day 2010. She had invited me to comment and to respond as I know that she is aware that I have some shared experiences which could be relevant to her own. Her blog is at: http://thesoulawakener.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/a-mans-world/
I feel if anyone really knows me, either from spending time with me or simply observing me on the day to day, they can express that I am a caring person. I take ‘care’ seriously. It is in my nature and although certain people in my life have done their best to stifle this characteristic for whatever reason, I have decided I will follow my heart and extend care to anyone that could do with it, whether or not I really know them because, frankly, there is a deficiency of the stuff in our lives.
This has been rewarding and greatly satisfying to me as a person despite the oft-times battery that comes back from people [unconscious or not] that feel they don’t deserve it. On the grand scale it has been and continues to be a great experience, sharing and caring.
Agnes [Anges]’ blog spoke about the issues of being a woman in today’s world. She laid out many of the concerns of being aspiring females, particularly professionally. And of course she came to me for commenting because she is fully aware I fit the full stereotype of the thoroughly targeted and victimized individual in this societal system we function in, which overrides all of the rhetoric of religion, academics, philosophy and economics.
The simple fact is: you are a woman, you are not seen. You are second class. You are an ‘entertainment’ at best. You fit the role of cleaner and a pleasure to men. You are not a primary point of reference for decision making. You are to buckle to the male presence and feel happy (lucky) when you get attention.
Thus ended my aspirations at 31 years old to be a comfortable professional in the field of my calling which was Human Resources. I was not competing: there was no need! I was fulfilling the contract. However the general sensation that I was going to make too many changes was sufficient for the club to lock down and ensure I couldn’t progress further.
Then there was the attempt at academia where being a female and being from a developed country [maybe also being black? I don’t know], meant that I was overstepping my bounds by being in this place, having the depth and breadth of knowledge, being able to analyse and express quantitatively and qualitatively and being self-financed… And so my efforts were halted and the males in question ensured I 1. failed the introductory programme of my doctorate and 2. had no path of recourse, which meant the total loss of all my savings and my investment.
I won’t go into the physical attacks on my person in detail because I want to push away the trauma to something different and better, nor the casual lies, manipulation, harassment and general abuse from men as a matter of course, because it was considered the societal standard and therefore acceptable… not to mention like I said, we were ‘lucky’ to be in their presence in the first place, so be satisfied, and clean up after me while you’re at it!
As I have travelled over these approximately eight years (since I quit the System and decided to see where God wants me to be as a human being) it has been remarkable the revelations that emerged. Even in the midst of being slighted repeatedly by males who only ultimately in their day to day life turned to other males as their point of reference… while listening to them spontaneously be disrespectful to their girlfriends, wives, mothers etc., I still wanted to love them. I still attempted to show them what is ‘right’ because I assumed they didn’t know. [smile]
Despite me making it clear that I don’t appreciate vulgarity and am attempting to keep a clean relationship with myself and with God, they still bypassed me in a casual form and brought things back to the low level: about money or the physical or disrespecting people or what have you. It didn’t matter as long as they were getting attention!
Well the beautiful thing about me not being partial about where I extend love is that, thankfully, love has found its way back to me anyway, in forms that I can say are satisfying, far greater than the ‘lucky you get any’ kind that predominates a patronage society. I also have no doubt that my professional life as well as my intellectual desire will continue to be satisfied and in due time, within the personal landscape something more evolved will also present itself.
But it is worthwhile and of note that we, the collective, still walk around with the idea that all is well in the world, that repressive patronage behaviours don’t exist and indeed pre-dominate; that we take women, mothers, carers, nurturers seriously; that we don’t pressure them beyond what is reasonable while inviting them to keep ‘bearing with’ insensitivity and a general lack of interest or care from our males and continue to hold the idea that ‘we are lucky’ that we have a ‘good male’ in our presence. NO wonder we the females are broken down with stress and ‘female illnesses’ that nobody recognises or identifies with…
I’ve realised that I definitely have the capacity to receive anyone, to find their good points, to encourage, to cheer on, to guide even. But most definitely everyone is not in this place nor is particularly desirous of making the effort to extend such care to another who doesn’t have the societal privilege of being male. Actually, it is a miniscule percentage of males I encounter that will concede that they’ve got it good and can and will give from a deep place [and I don’t mean financially!].
The statistics are everywhere about the depth of abuse and disenfranchisement of the female of the species yet supposedly intelligent men still make fun about if there is a problem really!
Yes, we make it; we perform miracles… we rally around each other and pull resources out of the sky to help keep the children living and everyone else for that matter. But still the primary voice listened to is still some loud [ignorant, often] male who simply, from exclusion of ever being under-privileged, can’t even imagine what the hardship of living is, to live on this earth as a decent and dignified human being who is not male.
And in my opinion that is the ultimate evidence of real consciousness manifested in our lives…
When there is no need for women to feel lucky to have an International Women’s Day, we will be playing on an even field. When men will know of the prevalence and predominance of ailments of the womb related to repression and the like, we will be close to speaking about reality and healing. When men won’t think that a woman who has accomplished something on her own that didn’t require a male is a threat to their survival [i.e. their position in society], we will be somewhere on the radar to have a conversation about a way forward together in a satisfying way.
Whatever the journey we are individually on at present, we then have to interface with society in some form. And if we walk out into society and by our way of life perpertuate pain, lack of opportunity and chances to actualise for other persons, we ought to ask ourselves a question or two about enlightenment and consciousness and all that ‘stuff’.
It’s not easy being a Woman and I am proud that I’ve made it this far and am still standing. But I assure you or anyone reading: it isn’t luck in any of this. Not one bit!
So my effort has to take this into consideration from now on because I really have little illusion anymore, that the imbalance in the load of care is going to even out anytime soon. And I am fully aware that care is where the real work is…
Till then I wish us all love and applaud all those women that carry an excess of the world’s load. And I welcome the males that will be willing to use their considerable influence to help set things right.
My brother Irwin was special, simply because he was not special. He needed no attention to smile, to work, to live. He wasn’t shy, just satisfied, just contented, just happy to live and do his thing.
This I remember about Irwin.
My earliest memory was him, hard-working… using his skillful hands and quick mind to create beautiful coral jewelery. He was dedicated to this for some time and he brought lots of friends to the house who would do this work as well; definitely a creative guy and well loved.
But I think I remember him most for his silent ways. He had plenty to say; he observed and processed much. But he had no reason, whatsoever, to be blasting it out. In many ways this was unfortunate, since then he wasn’t noticed; in a world where mainly bluster and bravado get any attention…
But perhaps this is just what showed his richness. He didn’t have to blast at or for anything, nor to be received or to be accepted in order to be himself, and I like that!
But give him a listen and his intelligence flowed out spontaneously; my Brother the Wise One!
Irwin could get along with anyone. He fit the term ‘harmonious‘. He could laugh easily; he could ‘get to God’ in quick time; he understood perfection… and knew that it didn’t come from ‘things’.
I like that as well.
Whenever we met it was very much understood that we were family. The time and distance between meetings, irrespective. It didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter till now. We were at peace in knowing. We were good friends. [Happy smile…]
It is why today I feel sadness but not the tragic loss I may have expected, since my brother remains: in the natural breeze he preferred to live in, and the chuckles I still hear ringing out, and in my memories of his easy hug and smile that aren’t going anywhere very soon…
He has moved on to his Perfect Place and is peaceful now: received as he is… in harmonious ways, like his Nature.
I pray only deeper, undisturbed contentment for my loving Brother who is surely now smiling, restful, happy.
And I pray that you know that Your Sister is with you.
I have to admit it. I’ve been holding on to flawed ideas about family for a long time. I have wanted to identify with something that isn’t serving; that isn’t happening; that isn’t working… It’s the myth of blood ties or at least, the myth of automatic, biological connection and harmony.
Like I said; it’s a myth. There is no automatic ‘natural’ connection just because one was raised in the same environment. My resistance in accepting that has probably been the cause of more personal trauma and drama than I’d care to admit, since it ties closely back to other choices I have made in my life, that in turn came with their own share of trauma and drama and led to such wear and tear that is unthinkable, on reflection.
Many of my friends know how I’ve been walking this ‘high road’ for some time, just seeking truth, by whatever means this required. My usual approach in life is immersion, which can mean lessons that go beyond even what I expected. Sometimes, indeed it blows my mind! The implications of my findings usually take some time before they really sink in but when they do I am then refined even more from that experience or phase and I am grateful.
On my way I have decided to honour my vision of life – which is a full, enjoyable one, rich with experiences that go beyond the rudimentary. Although scary, they have helped bring me to this place where I am and which I love a great deal.
I’ve remarked to my friends that it’s amazing how the Universe is working somewhere in the background while my mind plays its games with the mundane world and how it presents me with the desires of my heart all the time and in fact, in methods and packages simply perfect when I reflect. I can’t say how many times I’ve shaken my head at the absurdity that I have, that I could think it through and come out with the optimal outcome by myself! Crazy!
One particular vision that has always been dear to my heart is my lovely home. There are elements to this vision that for a long time seemed totally out of my hands and so I just shoved them to the back of my desires quite ‘maturely’, while I worked on what was in fact possible… And then, the individual elements of the vision stumbled their way into my space!
Where I live, physically, is one example – greenery, birds, quiet, privacy… my heart’s desire from a child. My sweet dogs that adore my presence and live for my every satisfaction and good humour – a dream of mine since my teens. In fact, having to live without dogs because of my housing has been one of the greatest sacrifices I have made, in my opinion.
Then there is the idea of a core group of persons that I come home to any day, any time… that wants the best for me and will ‘have my back’ during the crunch time. You know… like ‘Family’… or at least what my heart kept telling me Family is like. And guess what! I found this. I can’t believe it, hardly!
When my story is told, whenever that is, it will have to include tales of strangers who I’d never seen in person, who received me, from distances so far, but who connected, opened up and accepted me, supported my growth, my health, my wellbeing… without a second thought… and let me know once again how the Universe insists on providing me with my simple heart’s desire.
I count my online friends who have been there all the way, wanting nothing more than to share healthy space, as my Family. I’ve been blessed to be drawn into a circle of loving people who can see well beyond the obvious, to what is real and who desire to contribute to the flow of love in our world… till the rest of the world catches up.
How wonderful is that?
So whereas technically my ‘family’ consists of my two little dogs and myself – a dynamic I am loving! – my Family is thrown out across the landscape of this Earth and indeed sustains my health and good spirits just from being there: heart and mind open, ready to serve the Universe’s cause. Nice!
All I can say is ‘Thank you’ for being willing, for generosity, for selflessness and indeed for bravery to reach across the miles continually, in good faith. I am a blessed person in ways I hope someday I will be able to share properly with you. You truly are incredible, excellent people who I am so happy to share this journey with.
I couldn’t have dreamed of a more wonderful family. Thank you, simply, for showing up.
The last several years have been evolutionary, transformational for me. Indeed, I am not close to being the same person that I was trying to be, let’s say, eight years ago when I gave up living ‘corporate’ and began to find Truth, what my heart called me to…
I took a risk, not really aware of the magnitude of this step, but I had been consumed so long – my whole life actually – in setting my own standards, that it had fit in the profile of ‘things I would do’; not far different from heading to France and Holland to study or juggling a full-time, high-pressured job with a Canadian offshore company while doing a full-time Management degree (covertly!). In all these situations I had actually excelled and done great: better than if I had been trying to do, say one of the activities. I guess I multi-multi-multitask well!
I used the term ‘trying to be’ for that era after I had completed an extensive course of study and done well, got married back at home and found back a ‘good job’, then watched my whole world of dreams collapse around me when the real dynamics of living in a basically plastic society, literally kicked in…
It became really difficult as a person who personally thrived on truth and legitimacy to accept, ‘This was it. It doesn’t get better…’
‘Nooo… THAT is NOT possible!’
Actually, I had already noticed the lack of will in many places and I craved to find out what really was the issue at hand that would apparently render visionary persons who are willing to work, useless in this world!
It was frustrating and exhausting trying to act like it was allright, indeed that I was allright, when I definitely wasn’t, but I didn’t really know where to start resolving this soul conflict.
I remember the day I made the decision to be nothing but honest. It is unfortunate that such a decision would bring fear to us but indeed for very many of us, it is the case. Nonetheless I did it; I felt brave and bold, and I really had little else to lose. I was already demoralised, quite alone and not seeing anything but depression in my future, so why not?
So I began this journey, built on faith, and began stepping out beyond my comfort zone and seeing things happening almost immediately. I wasn’t ‘awake’ yet, just mainly curious and desirous to learn; to see where it would go. I loved my freedom immediately and I had little regrets that I had quit the job. I still don’t.
I had very little points of reference to work with since no-one that I know had seriously taken the plunge. In fact, in my close circle I had always been the pioneering person in many aspects: (seen as) fearless, bold, willing to take a chance, very much of faith, both in myself and in the Universe. Even then, I’d never see the Universe of possibilities as in any way limited to the world in front of me. By no means!
And so I stumbled again out of the country, trying to combine my areas of strength – academics and ‘being’ international – to find the ‘solution’ to this problem-of-sorts. There was an interim pit-stop before leaving, when I had been very active in the Church, even to the national level, and trying to stimulate activities to encourage willing members to come to the church. But this had some major limitations as well and ultimately only added to my depression because of the rigidity.
Anyway, my soul’s calling was to transcend the wealth of rhetoric which was clearly against the evolution of people and life and find my place somewhere, somehow.
My greatest challenge was now taking the risk of being totally alone on my journey since nearly everyone familiar was in a different ‘place’ than me, spiritually. It’s not that anyone necessarily was against what I was doing, they just didn’t really ‘get it’. But now, on reflection, they never really did ‘get’ me!
Hitches came only when I attempted to relate my strong desire for Truth and Meaning to persons who were invested in the status quo. Some were invested casually, some had their whole lives, self-image, view of the future, directly connected.
Relator that I am, I was always trying to find ‘our’ relation, because again, I can always see the potential or the possibility of our connecting as human beings!
This day’s reflection is more about an acceptance that ‘I just don’t have to try’. What an amazing one!
It’s ok if you just don’t get along. It’s ok!
There is room enough in the Universe for all kinds of persons, perspectives. And perhaps your life would be well spent by embracing those persons that simply ‘get’ you! The old lovely ‘least effort’, principle, which proved to be one of the truest Universal principles if I’ve ever heard of one, in my day to day life.
But it isn’t even the case of embracing ‘persons’ as much as Me as a person… It is about accepting that those qualities about myself that I felt I always had to explain, as ‘just existing’…
No, I am NOT competitive, I am NOT desperate, I am NOT dependent on humans or a man for survival, for existence, I adore joy and fun, I love people, I love to give and help…
And, so what???
So it is; laid on the table. Take me as I am. And I will still help you! (smile!)
And so I get (and give) permission to immerse in my memories, my first loves, all my dreams, all that works for me, without the sensation like I am a problem to certain other people.
It feels good to release ‘that’ kid and not feel responsible for others’ wellbeing in the same helpless way.
Yes, I think the ultimate love one could give is to one’s self, firstly by embracing Self. After that… anything can happen.
‘Who loves you, Baby?’
With love, Sherrilene
I won’t even attempt a big, eloquent title or fancify things. This is just a topic due for itself!
They are the delight of the world. I’m never tired of seeing little ones in their prime: unaware, fearless, fun ‘up front’, Man at its finest, in my view.
I haven’t had my own children as yet although I have helped raised so many peoples’ I don’t quite feel like it’s the case. I’ve had such enjoyment from tuning in, from reading them, from speaking to them as the little, tiny individuals that they are!
I have been amazed personally how well they respond to reason and to responsibility; it’s like they’re ‘informed’ really early that they ought to be doing things. But it’s only effective when I speak directly to them, not shout, not order etc. And lots of interim hugging also seems to keep the flow going!
As a child, I know that I knew what I wanted. This is very tough for adults to acknowledge, maybe because we drift off from our wants as a matter of course in modern life. But I do recall wanting to share and wanting my space sometimes and also wanting quiet and little argument. I recall wanting to wander about a little, while feeling safe to do this. I recall having little dreams of having my own children also, to do little children things like plait hair and dress up!
They really require so little. And they’re such a joy! And although many attempt to insist that they are generally a terror, I have not found this. Like all of us they respond best to care and to their environment… all controllable from our end.
And so I say, God bless the children.
And bless us all.
… things feel all right.
I’m not my own problem.
I am lighter.
I feel perfect.
I accept that things are quite ok and as they ought to be… as the Universe determines. It’s not me. [smile]
I am lighter.
I am my friend.
I smile quickly; smile easily.
I am lighter.
There is burden no more.
It is perfect.
I feel friendship, with harmony, with me.
I can see what’s good, what is soft, what is easiest, what’s in my power to act on.
Because really, who said I am or have the problem, besides my mind? Whoever said that? Did the Universe speak that into my consciousness or is it just illusion carrying forward … ?
In my heart I know better; better than to argue that:
I should be lighter, even in physical form.
‘Don’t carry a burden that’s not yours. It’s all fine.
And all will be well.
Relax, and see.
To Light. Amen.