My Beautiful Blog

An Actualiser's weblog

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

I adore her work…

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

December 24, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 7 Comments

I met a man…

… who coincidentally couldn’t see… but who had Vision.

He saw me clearly, although I did not know he was looking, alert, awake.

His name is Meltia and he is visually disabled, in layman’s terms.

But he can see deeply.

Meltia has climbed a mountain, literally, although he can’t see. He wanted a challenge.

He has learned to read and write and to teach… and to motivate and to inspire. And he does this daily.

And his most striking words to me, of his life were:

‘Nobody owes me anything.’

His ‘disability’ occurred from a fall, an accident, while he was in the womb. He had no say; he wasn’t ‘there’ to avoid it. It just happened; it just was.

My encountering him was at a strange meeting; you know those official kinds. The ones that go nowhere and are destined to be repeated weekly, indefinitely, until another new hot subject comes up to start having meetings for again.

So I sat in the meeting with my notes, not interested… tuning out the chatter to concentrate on my work and I started to hum some little song… some inspirational song.

It was under my breath, no-one should hear. But he heard and he responded by agreeing to the tag line, whatever that was. It was a grateful song, so whatever it was, resonated.

This man was joyful; very concerned sometimes about his future, as an older man without family and having had to earn his own living all of his life… But cheerful and so thankful to give people hope and inspire people despite his ‘disability’.

We could speak deeply, for long periods. He didn’t see me as a superficial being. We didn’t have to get by my ‘looks’ or my age… I didn’t have to curb my charm or my smile at the risk of being too attractive.

‘If people only knew the challenges of being… If only…’

‘Of course they know! ‘[smile]

No, he saw me. He ‘met’ with me. He appreciated me. He inspired me. He showed another light to me to keep going… to stay on the path…

And I wish Meltia well. I pray he will be protected and taken care of in his old age, and given the comfort of mind that he has afforded so many people.

I pray, if I can help him to secure his future, that someday I will be able to.

God bless you, kind Meltia.

Meltia Hamilton

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | 4 Comments

Found in the wilderness

This poem is entitled ‘Lost in the Wilderness’ in Deepak Chopra’s edition of Love Poems of Rumi.

I renamed it for this posting…

Deeper...

Deeper...

Oh lovers, where are you going?  Who are you looking for?

Your beloved is right here.  She lives in your own neighborhood.

Her face is veiled.  She hides behind screens calling for you,

while you search and lose yourself in the wilderness and the desert.

Cease looking for flowers, there blooms a garden in your own home.

While you go looking for trinkets, your treasure house awaits you

in your own being.  There is no need for suffering, God is here!

December 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Love & Connection by Thomas Merton

“In Louisville, at the corner of Fourth and Walnut, in the center of the shopping district, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all those people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness, of spurious self-isolation in a special world, the world of renunciation and supposed holiness. The whole illusion of a separate holy existence is a dream…There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun….

I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God’s eyes. If only they could all see themselves as they really are. If only we could see each other that way all of the time.” ~ Thomas Merton

Photo credit: Tamara Bokuchava, Galapagos Islands

December 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dividing God by Hafiz

The moon starts singing
When everyone is asleep
And the planets throw a bright robe
Around their shoulders and whirl up
Close to her side.

Once I asked the moon,
“Why do you and your sweet friends
Not perform so romantically like that
To a larger crowd?”

And the whole sky chorus resounded,

“The admission price to hear
The lofty minstrels
Speak of love

Is affordable only to those
Who have not exhausted themselves
Dividing God all day
And thus need rest.

The thrilled Tavern fiddlers
Who are perched on the roof

Do not want their notes to intrude
Upon the ears
Where an accountant lives
With a sharp pencil
Keeping score of words
Another
In their great sorrow or sad anger
May have once said
To you.”

Hafiz knows:
The sun will stand as your best man
And whistle

When you have found the courage
To marry forgiveness,

When you have found the courage
To marry
Love.

(“The Gift” – versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

Moon... Sun... Light... Life... Cloud formation: Bristol, UK 2008

December 15, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

When I listen…

… I hear,

it has all been for a purpose; it wasn’t meant to only hurt, it was to toughen you up for things to come, when the muscle would be needed for This Reality and would feel oh so natural and ready to be flexed…

it had conclusions you couldn’t think of, couldn’t conceive of, couldn’t receive in that time, so it was better you weren’t aware of them just yet…

it was so appreciated that you listened and followed Our Lead, that the bounty we are bestowing on you is in line with the finest gifts around: sense of peace, of satisfaction, of free mind, of clear heart, of safety, of security, of harmony with your world, of love at every turn.

you could have listened to different, louder voices which told you to compromise, to be in the mix. But you made a different choice. I am pleased.

I listened, I followed, it was tough. I didn’t know. I felt alone. I felt quite crazed! I had no support but my own mind and heart most days and nights.

Now as I listen more, I hear confirmation, it was not in vain.

God, I am thankful.

Thanks, simply…

A Grateful, Sherrilene

Fringes of the Rainbow

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Dream Era…

I am remarking how, though I try my best to do reflections regularly and bring myself to a place of acceptance and often gratitude, out of those looks backward and inward, that the degree of detail and amount of evidence of the Universe’s good general intention, still stays out of my grasp somewhat.

I am a fairly grateful person, in my opinion, but confess I don’t hang onto the consciousness of blessings quite often enough, which would do me very good in keeping good in my space and help make my ride of life, far less bumpy. This is a mighty big conclusion!

Earlier this year after two or three run-ins with some of the most obnoxious people that I had the displeasure to have to live around, I finally came upon a residence that was spacious and lovingly natural, green, beautiful. It was like a snapshot of a vision I had put into the ‘less than likely’, rather barren zone of my dreams. But omygosh, it was here!

I remember registering shock, not necessarily thankfulness or gratitude, as my first emotion. Evidently my belief system didn’t stretch that far to actually accessing those tiny little desires of one’s heart!

There is one other lovely delivery that was manifested just over a year ago that I haven’t spent a lot of time in appreciation. The exact type of car I’d dreamed about as a teenager… I used to look at them on the street, while walking home. And most of my friends were like, ‘They’re ok’… but not as excited as I.

Well one day last year while deciding on a new car, I said, what the heck, make an enquiry. And in two snaps I had my car… yes, the same kind, in a rich colour, special to look at, distinctive, just like my car would be.

Two ‘major’ messages coming through at this time are both related to the bigger picture and perspective. For both these dreams I built relationships that were more comfortable for the property ‘owner’ than for me; that bind me to work my tail off even if I’m not well, to pay for them. This is because, it certainly looked as if this was the only available option for me and as I look back, it wasn’t for lack of trying that I ended up having to do a rental and take a loan…

But the eventual burden of it all and eventual, quite disrespectful behaviour by the bank in particular, have shaken my desire even in the least way, to continue that kind of imbalanced security arrangement. It just isn’t fair or right that some people sit comfortably receiving value, while others work incredibly hard to create it and never have, especially time, to enjoy returns from it.

So I’m at a Square One zone, about to let go the car (it’s been coming for a while… they dragged their feet, hoping I would get back to work and make them comfortable again; but my body/The Universe protested!). And this morning I am feeling a tad of sadness that I’m giving up the dream car, the one that I hadn’t taken very much time to embrace the amazingness of the Universe following through on visionary promises… Yeh, I feel sad that I wasted time, not appreciating it and that…

I’ve lots of excuses! I am a creative person, of course I do! But in the end it is useless. I still didn’t embrace the moment enough, throughout.

The second sensation is about the fact, that although I don’t necessarily give ‘It’ credit for its ‘behind-the-scenes’ incredible work, things are indeed ongoing, unseen, unnoticed, and so wonderfully, just waiting for us to merge in with it… to lock in sincerely and honestly and truthfully… to admit, this is what I really want, no kidding…

I remember saying so often that Nature is evidence that there is a whole lot going on around us that we couldn’t possibly conceive of. And I say it and mean it! But so many times, I haven’t internalised it and I think – the real issue, isn’t it? – that I have something to do with outcomes, besides blending with the amazingness of It.

I’ve said often I wouldn’t want to live with a life of regrets, which is why I step out oftentimes and face fears and challenge myself. Today I feel a slight little one, for not having faith, for not believing more in my dreams manifesting, even the ones dashed away because ‘reality’ had messed with them.

Looks like some growing up is due.

Namaste.

With love and light and respect of old and new dreams.

Sherrilene

Tears on my heart

December 10, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments