My Beautiful Blog

An Actualiser's weblog

I met a man…

… who coincidentally couldn’t see… but who had Vision.

He saw me clearly, although I did not know he was looking, alert, awake.

His name is Meltia and he is visually disabled, in layman’s terms.

But he can see deeply.

Meltia has climbed a mountain, literally, although he can’t see. He wanted a challenge.

He has learned to read and write and to teach… and to motivate and to inspire. And he does this daily.

And his most striking words to me, of his life were:

‘Nobody owes me anything.’

His ‘disability’ occurred from a fall, an accident, while he was in the womb. He had no say; he wasn’t ‘there’ to avoid it. It just happened; it just was.

My encountering him was at a strange meeting; you know those official kinds. The ones that go nowhere and are destined to be repeated weekly, indefinitely, until another new hot subject comes up to start having meetings for again.

So I sat in the meeting with my notes, not interested… tuning out the chatter to concentrate on my work and I started to hum some little song… some inspirational song.

It was under my breath, no-one should hear. But he heard and he responded by agreeing to the tag line, whatever that was. It was a grateful song, so whatever it was, resonated.

This man was joyful; very concerned sometimes about his future, as an older man without family and having had to earn his own living all of his life… But cheerful and so thankful to give people hope and inspire people despite his ‘disability’.

We could speak deeply, for long periods. He didn’t see me as a superficial being. We didn’t have to get by my ‘looks’ or my age… I didn’t have to curb my charm or my smile at the risk of being too attractive.

‘If people only knew the challenges of being… If only…’

‘Of course they know! ‘[smile]

No, he saw me. He ‘met’ with me. He appreciated me. He inspired me. He showed another light to me to keep going… to stay on the path…

And I wish Meltia well. I pray he will be protected and taken care of in his old age, and given the comfort of mind that he has afforded so many people.

I pray, if I can help him to secure his future, that someday I will be able to.

God bless you, kind Meltia.

Meltia Hamilton

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | 4 Comments

Ok, so I’m starting to write my book!

No dramatics, I keep promising myself. Just let my decisions all flow.

Life is too strange, that’s all I can say. It doesn’t matter how decisive one is, what is meant to happen will happen. I had so many thoughts of how I’d start this note out and now they’re down the drain because my emotions have taken me in the next direction. So let me just express what is going on at this time.

I had a revelation yesterday that indeed I want to feel passion again in my life. This has come and gone; gone up and down… but it’s generally been my guide for ‘big’ decisions like taking ‘risky’ jobs or furthering my studies or even changing my circle of friends. Deep down in my heart I know that life is about excitement and enjoyment and so ultimately I will get to this place of saying, ‘What is happening here? This is NOT living!’ Then I’ll take action. [smile]

Why this is probably relevant right now is that I feel the need to let other people be aware that there are different things to life than what we keep seeing. It doesn’t matter how many, where or who, just anybody! It is for my own good as well, for my wellbeing, for me being happy.

You see I interface daily with mostly people who are so extremely priviliged that they have no concept of what excitement is; they have a structure in their lives which says with certainty ‘things’ will be there. There is security of sorts in this existence. The only problem is, security of this type brings some apathy, some ennui, some boredom and sad to say, a dear lack of appreciation for what they have.

Now as a person with many friends who live in countries and in difficult situations where the privilege of boredom is not an option, this constantly wears me out. It exhausts me for a few reasons: one is, with apathy, ennui and all those things, there’s no creativity; no ideas, no likelihood of moving resources and helpfulness along to where it is needed. So I wait disappointingly for any simple solutions to manifest themselves.

The [not-so-privileged] world sits looking to the ‘thought leaders’, the intellectuals, the educated lot, to bring solutions to them. The logical idea is, with all the research and development and analysis going on, so much funds pumping into great ideas, that someday, somehow they will trickle down into solutions for everyone.

The only thing is, sitting here on the outside and yet in the middle somewhat, I can see that the ‘wait for someone’ approach is unfortunately the way of the intellectual side of the world as well. Taking action isn’t a part of that cultural psyche. People aren’t nudged to take decisions, really, unless they are required to by [external] pressure most times.

What does this have to do with me?

My experience, repeatedly, has been that I am instructive in moving people to think a little, trust a little, try a little bit more than they had been doing in previous times of their lives. The consequences are usually a release from a rigid place and the flow of beautiful ideas and energies that serve everyone. Indeed it is a really satisfying experience watching this, so win-win for all.

I would like to say I don’t want to touch just the privileged lot at all. In fact fresh ideas are just waiting to be implemented from many people who didn’t know they had many options as well at their disposal. The point being: I just want to stimulate thinking, connecting, creating. That is it!

I also know that if I, myself, die with my story in me, it would be a waste of this life which has been pretty remarkably pleasant and very enjoyable despite all the ups and downs, the traumas and dramas. If more people recognise themselves in me, perhaps they would mobilise a bit more to that enjoyment that is due to them but is still not considered a characteristic of this life as we know it.

I also think that my philosophies of life, borne out of experience and not just intellect… indeed, hardly from traditional intellect, bear more significance today than ever before, in serving my higher purpose of education, which I’ve always known is my bigger calling. So more reason to do this.

Though the past has brought me to this place I don’t want to live there. I would like the future to shine brightly in my mind’s eye and if I can contribute to it, then I’d like to, in any way I can. Here is one way hopefully.

Thanks for your well wishes in advance.

Blessings and Love,

Best, Sherrilene

bookcover

November 15, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | 8 Comments

Am… err… Faith? Oh boy!

Mmmm, a test of Faith; the big word… the BADDD word!

My good friends remark that I’m of faith and very dedicated, and compared to many, I guess I am. Case in point: my decision to go out on my own and not only start a business but a business which was in direct contradiction to the dynamics of The System, i.e. it concentrated on higher human values.

It did take a lot to take that leap but I felt it was my higher purpose being acted out, and therefore it would be allright; indeed better than allright! It had to be far better than where I was, dissatisfied in so many spheres of my life.

Back then the primary currency coming in was dollar-wise, but much of my self respect was rushing back out… So this led to a very dismal place of existence.

So many years on, substantial investments of all kinds later, and I am happy to say, equivalent improvement of my quality of life and I’m now at a juncture where my belief in the greater virtues is being strongly tested.

Interesting moment; because this time my gut is telling me ‘Stick with it…’; and my emotions all seem to be going with it too! I feel I can’t go wrong!

This is progress.

I also feel my commitment earlier in the day to simply continue being happy, overrides all other ‘events’ which may turn up right now.

Isn’t it amusing? I even have some ‘logic’ for this position!  Here it is:

  1. I have worked long and hard, usually by myself, to be disciplined and committed to ‘good things’. In some circles one would say, I have paid my dues
  2. It is clear that I was never really up against myself all this time… the beautifully, deep woven System was rife with inefficiencies, wastage, blatant corruption…!  I could go on but I won’t bother, and
  3. All of the signals of the System that I have followed, while setting aside my instincts, have led me repeatedly into anguish, depression and very often, misery. Some of the biggies included marriage, commitment to religion and to family,  post-graduate education, the ‘good job’ and finally immersion in the ‘motivation’ sector.

No, that didn’t quite work…

By the same token, going by the gut has been magnificent!I am thankful to say, I am NEVER bored with any of my activities.

Something about natural living is great, without it taking away from sophistication or modern life and I feel I am getting very good at it!I just KNOW I’m onto something great!

And so I’ve decided to let my nature flow and just keep happy and to let the rest go to the Universe to make things right and in my favour… Let us just see how it will go.

Namaste and Peace to you.

Sherrilene

I've always thought this picture was quite a fitting depiction of my Leap!

I've always thought this picture was quite a fitting depiction of my Leap!

August 19, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | 1 Comment

Race… to the Finish!

Since I was a child I questioned things… obviously a challenge for my dear grandmother who didn’t have many answers to the sometimes outrageous questions I brought up! It was further to her getting stumped on the God questions that I ‘rebelled’ and got my first tastes of ‘letting go’ to see how I would land! Fine, of course!

I was a ‘social challenge’ for my family because spontaneously I blended with everyone in a calm and rational way. Aggression disturbed me, actually. It made me quite uncomfortable. I never ‘got’ why one would be attacking.

I used the phrase ‘social challenge’ to describe myself because just about everyone in my family besides maybe my gran and one brother, was fairly aggressive! There just seemed to be anger every place I looked! On reflection it was probably wrongly placed, but regardless, it did manifest quite strongly in my home life. I did a lot of flexing to actualise in my younger years.

My brother used to find things, it seems, to get angry at. It was like if he wanted to be enraged! One subject that he jumped on regularly was racism. It is fairly typical for many people to blame ‘the white man’ for the hardships of the ‘poor black man’ in my country, and I believe many other countries as well, using different variations on the shade of the oppressive Man.

Well even in my youth I’d ask the question, … ‘but what exactly did this ‘white person’ directly do to us?’ since in fact, the closest I had ever come to one of these mythical creatures was seeing them on tv! I couldn’t differentiate between in-between shades very well either. Not to say that I didn’t register a slight difference if I met a non-negro, but it was more about ‘carriage’ than ‘colour’. I hope this makes sense…

As the years went on I made a decision to finally let my brother know that I was NOT subscribing to the story he was telling. My rational brain demanded facts [thank God!] I went on to secondary school and went from being a social problem for someone, to being confirmed a quite acceptable little girl who all kinds of people liked too. [Indeed I was pretty likeable at primary school too, but it helped to see it elsewhere.]

That’s where I first met with diversity! It was great. Some of my best acquaintances were wealthy white [local], visiting Scotsman boy, white, and a few other persons from different places in the world. I had tremendously good friends who were also of African descent like me, but in terms of chilling out and being comfortable, I must admit I felt a greater responsibility with them than with the ‘freer’ people of the world.

My insistence on fact to my mind aided me to achieve very many of my eventual goals in life.

Then, as now, rhetoric reigned. So many people toss about phrases and words that they heard someone else say and do not take their time to analyse for themselves and bring some justification to their choices. That open minded me has met some truly beautiful persons over the years, starting then in my childhood ignorance and insistence. My life would not be the same nor would I be so contented, if I had not enriched it with a range of influences!

I feel quite disappointed when I see people ‘go there’, and go there aggressively also. Everyone is ‘my people’ and I see the best in them ‘on the spot’! I feel very blessed to have this inner sight, you could call it, because my exchanges with people are so much richer, more exciting, very energising!

A Canadian friend once asked me, ‘Do you consider anyone to be a stranger?’ And my spontaneous response was, ‘I don’t see strangers; I see a human being waiting to be acknowledged.’ And it was sincere.

Perhaps we could recognise that we each need to be seen as more than a superficial thing. Perhaps we could acknowledge that the aggression often manifest is due to a craven desire to be simply noticed; to be seen as somebody… Maybe then we could temper our response and reaction to not perpetuate and extend the aggression and help things to deteriorate even further…?

Today I think the issue of race is another quite sad effort to rule by fear and not by sense. We each have an option to step back and ask if we are ruling our mind or is ‘someone else’, less equipped to judge for us. It is one of many such issues we still talk about, too much in my opinion, while Real issues prevail for all of us.

Our humanity is over there at the finishing line waiting for us to get there. I am so SO ready, to Race to THAT finish!

Join me there!

Love you all,

Best, Sherrilene

dreamstars

August 5, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | 15 Comments

Ruff Love

“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skills. Our antagonist is our helper.” Edmund Burke

I used to be really ‘nice’. I think by many standards I still am. I never had a bone in me to harm another soul. This actually used to be a problem for some relatives who definitely had an inclination to hurt or harm others and perhaps were seeking justification by criticising my more reasoned tendencies.

In fact, my ‘reasonableness’ fulfilled a couple things, in that I like good results and that discussion thing seemed a useful means… And, also, it led to more satisfying exchanges and good relationships, so why not? The alternatives were not as great from my observation.

Somewhere on the way I found myself becoming the ‘nice one’, relative to say the ‘nasty one’… some strange kind of role assignments had emerged and I ended up in that one. To say the least, that proved really painful when it came down to the gritty stuff. It turned out when people are backed in a corner they will generally throw all their loyalties behind the other person, who apparently they respect more… Another interesting lesson about humanity.

In any case I can’t say I ever felt really great about being Ms. Soft and Sweet; indeed it would get to me sometimes. But if I’d dump that role, then who or what would I become?

Enter my spiritual drive. My spirit was calling me to just be honest; be honest with yourself, with your friends, with your loved ones. Take the risk and see how things go. Then this became an obsession almost; I couldn’t stop myself. I was petrified but I felt it was just something I had to do! I remember telling some Canadian bosses [way back before my awareness] that I didn’t really like their working conditions and please don’t think they are doing me a favour by giving me a ‘job’. That turned out great [in fact, I think they were concerned I would instigate the other staff so they paid me out quite handsomely].

I also remember telling a couple important friends that I didn’t appreciate their behaviour in a particular setting, imposing on my personal space. They didn’t like the critique, but eventually they told me they appreciated our friendship sufficiently to accept what I said. Ultimately our relationship improved quite a bit from that time on; more grounded and far more honest with less ‘game playing’.

In recent times I have been contemplating just why when I throw some rough truths at people, they generally come around some time later, and they tell me it was good for them… indeed, it was very good! I observed my two little dogs – they are the closest things to ‘natural beings’ in my space. So they make quite good subjects when one needs a point of reference for instinctual living.

Although there is no ‘need’, these two fellows get down to some rough stuff between themselves. The girl literally pounces on the man and provokes and he does the same thing back sometimes. [She’s more provocative… not sure why [smile] ] And they play-fight like crazy between themselves. Then they take a break and go right back to duty. I might add they also take time to share affection periodically including with me, although they are not obsessive with and for that, and they spontaneously have some fun… They’re so great!

So someone mentioned that animals do this Rough love action to naturally toughen themselves for the coming challenges, whatever they are. This helps to build muscle, sharpen teeth, develop their swiftness in a fight, that kind of thing. And I put the pieces together. Being ‘soft’ with people all the time, thinking it is for the best, isn’t necessarily natural. Indeed if it’s not managed, it can lead to dysfunction in people: ‘spoiling’ them. The consequence is that they don’t properly learn how to really fend for themselves in Real Life and might just depend on you indefinitely to take care of things for them. The other thing is, they don’t respect you, and will often be really cruel to you without a second thought.

On the other hand, being that Reality check just might be the ‘nicest’ thing you could do for that person you care about… and actually for yourself too. This doesn’t mean abuse; not at all. With solid intention anyone can communicate the sincere message and serve the greater good. In the process you earn the respect of your circle, which is often something many regret on reflection on their and the other’s lives in later years.

Something to think about…

Ruff love and care to you.

Sherrilene

P.S. My good friend Samme coined the phrase ‘Ruff Love’ rather than ‘Rough Love’ because he knew the dogs helped me out. I am so blessed with it.

sweet shot

July 30, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | 1 Comment

Getting ‘Hooked’ on this Simplicity thing

Have you ever wondered if you might have an addiction to complexity? I have [wondered].

Indeed, like many people, my mind has protested the possibility that life could be ‘that simple’, having obviously experienced a great deal of jumping through hoops and over hurdles en route to the time and space I live in now.

In case you didn’t know, I’ve worked in North American  companies for much of my professional life and I’ve lived and done my graduate education in Western European countries all the way, although I remain fundamentally an Island Girl.

I had a spiritual conflict several years ago and it drew me to question what was going wrong with the picture of my work life, that is: a multitude of worker bees, not progressing, and a tiny number of posh, golf coursing patrons handing out tokens to the [fortunate] masses.

This bothered me, I confess, since I sat professionally between the two groups, and I had a very natural desire to serve across interests. It wasn’t meant to be, though and I ‘failed’ to impress my bosses to flex so that policies could be implemented to encourage people to excel and to serve the organisation better and more.

So I got out and have spent the last several years literally out of the system, as a free lance contributor, but mostly as a person trying to access and stick to my Truth.

On the way I found out that there are many people who exercise their freedom of choice by: 1. doing nothing 2. being ‘the victim’ 3. creating hoops and hurdles just for kicks and 4. resisting [violently in some cases] anything that feels like it will dislodge their present position. Not my favourite lessons but I accept them as part of our species.

Thank goodness on the way I also found some genuine people, keen on celebrating life and on being helpful and not requiring a course in human relations to relate. They got it!

I’ve found that that first batch is ‘at home’ in the old dynamics as well, since that has a certain degree of acceptability among the patrons… The other crowd, dispersed as we were working hard to aid the many, are only now peeking out and connecting, and it is sweet!

So, about this title I selected: getting ‘hooked’ on simplicity. I was recently reminded somewhere that we are physically made up of a fine balance of chemicals and that when chemicals increase or decrease in our systems, we react in particular ways. The chemical input is not necessarily ingested or injected. It can be something as simple as adrenaline, from getting the famous Rush of being busy and doing ‘important’ things.

The only thing is, that kind of chemical ‘high’ in your system for a long time, leads to wear and tear on the system and is tied to many stress-related ailments. I have been there as have many people I know, and am thankful that I moved away from corporate life combined with some super stressful homelife issues, at least for that benefit.

But then there are these other chemicals; you know, the good-feeling ones [smile] The ones that erupt in your system from feeling joyful, from laughing out loud, from being lovingly surprised and indeed from feeling love coming at you. Those are good for you! In fact, they aid longevity and good health consistently!

A big motivation for this posting is the reality that many of the people in Category 1 absolutely thrive on thrills and highs from the dramas of their existence. Those thrills etc. create chemicals also, indeed might lead to demand for other drugs to help with the symptons, and more unnatural chemicals might end up in the system… more addictive chems… Other people engaged in the drama might unwittingly get hooked too, just by constantly engaging!

Back to my Truth Mission; I have found that each time I take a leave from the system and concentrate on what feels right, I get this peace. I’ve also found that there are some really simple pasttimes which make me really healthy, and happy. It’s just incredible how easy it is to get to them!

But my addicted mind kept bringing me back to life’s dramas and saying, you just have to manage this complexity…. even if it is wearing you down!

Well I just got the ‘download’ that perhaps I ought to wean myself completely from this complexity addiction of mine and accept that life is ‘that simple’ as long as I go with what feels natural. Even more great is that I get to choose my new kinds of highs.

And guess which one I’m going with!

I’m going with Simplicity! No books, no learnings required, just acceptance that Peace is your Destination. And once you’re there, you are quite ok! Acceptance, however, is the first step as well as that great desire to be happy and healthy…

So, to all the thrills and highs of natural living, of harmonious connection and of life in my Truth! There is no place right now, that I would rather be.

Hope I will see you there too!

Best of everything to you!

Sherrilene

APTOPIX Dandelion Seeds

addicted

July 21, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | 12 Comments

The little things…!

I have made a commitment to closely watch my influences, on knowing very well that your circle will affect you, intentionally or not and that your ability to have the life you want is impacted a great deal as a consequence.

The world offers the full range of potential influences and since my choice is to have a fantastic quality of life, I have been quite strategic in which influences will make it into my space. They should be open and honest and of love… if I have any say in the matter, and mostly I do. It is really a choice…

In recent years my life has whittled down significantly to mostly outings to nature, intelligent conversations with heart-full people, close time with my family, my dogs and good solid friendships and relationships. It has meant a severe reduction in my ‘business’ activities, in part, because business still operates on different principles than this. But, nonetheless, this feels more than right, so I shall press on as I’m doing.

Bridging different gaps that have become the norm in our lives has been a feature of my evolution for some time. I even chose my company name [Human Quality Headquarters] as indication that I have no intention of ever emphasising the differences in us as people but to highlight the shared meanings for us as we re-unite and heal.

This past week gave me an opportunity to see avenues of shared meaning among a wide range of diverse people and I felt such a privilege to do this!

It started with the dogs, actually. I take them out walking regularly, at any time it feels right, and I find that their presence always sparks conversation with children of all ages [yes from 2 to 82]! Since I have major challenges with mundane topics [a.k.a. small talk!] this has been such a relief! People are fascinated to see these really obedient animals that clearly love me as I love them, just walking the streets and the countryside!

It has been intriguing how many people comment about this out loud and note especially, that Jonny’s leg is ‘deformed’, by traditional terms and enquire about it. It’s a great opportunity for me to mention how this happened [run over and left abandoned as a pup] and that I acquired the dogs from the Animal Sanctuary, which many people are not even aware of from day to day. There’s a great deal of empathy expressed in each person…

I also went to a pre-school graduation and again, it was remarkable the responses from people of every kind, to see the little imperfect souls performing their hearts out for our benefit and enjoying our applause tremendously during and after their little acts! This took hearts away, all of us…!

The Best of Us...

My realisation, again, that these little ones, were many of us not that long ago and that influences surrounding us helped define how we ‘turned out’ was striking. After a certain age it gets more and more difficult to keep that innocence ‘up’, to stay true to who we started as… By early twenties many of the youngsters I teach are wading through seas of apathy looking for some good reason to do their best when it really seems like it doesn’t matter in this world…

For some moments there I got the hopeful feeling that everyone attending: the men, women and children in us, ‘got‘ what living is about and what is most worthy of preserving and indeed putting our energies into… at least for a while…

Some days I wonder where we’re going as a People… but some other days I feel hopeful that there’s a New Generation on hand that can still be moulded for something great, and I seek to influence what we give to them in my  own little way.

I hope I can influence you thus as well.

Bless, and peacefully.

Love, Sherrilene

June 23, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | 4 Comments