My Beautiful Blog

An Actualiser's weblog

It was never about money… it was about Life…


I think about my life and where it has gone and indeed where it has led me over the years and I see lots of patterns that are consistent. I recall in my youth my desires to excel and do my best, according to my own standard, not anybody else’s.

I remember getting angry with being sick all the time and deciding I want to be well and healthy and independent of chemicals (and anything else that could restrain me) in my lifetime. I’ve done this in different ways over time, for a variety of would-be dependencies.

Yes, anger generally brings me to that! 😀

I’ve also worked hard to sharpen my skills and widen my knowledge in several areas, a clear intention to be my best self, again irrespective of what others will do. I ‘compete’ with myself and thus I just try to keep on improving, from one day to the next.

I feel generally good about my progress and see no great need to quit this approach.

And why would I even consider that?

It’s because I’m bombarded, a bit too often, with everyday influences of people who don’t want to excel; who don’t want to push themselves; who don’t care to try. It’s not just a case that they don’t do anything, they also insist that I hold ‘me’ back. They put their energy, (unaware?), into holding excellers back, so they won’t have to pull themselves up to the different bar.

The same issue revolves around why I work. I have never worked for the money! I have been driven by a desire to maximise and in the process I naturally earned well; particularly since it served the interests of employers! But many months I could go without ever taking a peek at my bank balance and I didn’t have the need for credit, etc. because I was not driven to pursue material things and the like, in all my life. Those things were for function, thus otherwise a serious bother!

I think this is why I’m confused ever so much when I see what some people will do for financial and material prowess. I’ve had people dispose of relationships that were life sustaining and healthy, just for money, just for ‘things’! I’ve witnessed people call in reinforcements, rally unknowing supporters, to help build the case against a family member, because the issue of a few dollars was on the table; I have heard people publicly decry a Leader, simply trying to make decent quality living available to the masses, so that they can remain comfortably in their financial power place, for as long as they can…

I am amazed at the depths one would go to; the energy one would expend, to hold on to something which isn’t ours to hold in the first place… and the amount of sacrifice one would make (of genuine, healthful relationships) for the sake of something so limiting and insecure as dollars on an account!

But then, that’s just me… So often the minority… So often that little voice in the wildnerness trying to make sure, I’m not the crazy one!

As I continue to pursue my love for excellence I am happy to say: though I don’t have lots of money, I have never felt more accomplished. It’s an accomplishment when you can stay strong and healthy even in the midst of negative pressure at nearly every turn. It’s an accomplishment to keep presence of mind, enough to still follow one’s dreams, even if they are not in line with the great Society’s expectations. And it’s an accomplishment to feel such great peace, from letting it all go, and seeing that this was the main test and I didn’t fail.

I wish everyone the ability to decide for their own Good… to apply their best judgment and to receive the peace we all so crave as we walk in a world of [small] denominations towards one that I hope is of Greatness.

And I am wishing you, friends and loved ones, a most beloved and blessed journey.




September 11, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Oh Sherri,
    You are such a treasure my Dear!
    As I am literally quenching my thirst of peace, and enlightenment through your words; I found beauty, and such “Highness”, “Nobleness” in the way you are… such a blessing for us all!

    Comment by Eric M-N. | September 11, 2009 | Reply

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